A little Warhammer battle story

hehe... here is the skaven side

Having earlier stated that he was not at all interested in fighting the dark elves... Razqueeze soon found himself marching forward yawning sleepily... the annoying warlock engineer chattering away in his ear. It was obvious that what little sanity the idiot warlord had was gone, cause he was riding in on a rat ogre. After some slothful meandering the massive number of clanrats with him spotted the enemy, all the fighting was in the middle of the field though, no fun at all. So being a psycho Razqueeze turned to the warlock.

"Quick, send send me to the middle of the battle field. I have a trick trick."

Oh how frustrating it was for them as the engineer tried over and over to send him with magic... but to no avail. By now the Hell Pit Abomination had already started in on his battle with the druchii, and it looked like the left flank had a lizard problem. Razqueeze ordered his unit to march that way... but the order was overridden by the crazy warlord who thought it would be cool to just sit there watching everything.

That was when Razqueeze noticed the Elves on the fiery ridge thing... oh happiness was abounding. Reading from his scroll he cast the most powerful spell he had, the screams and shots of horror and fright that came from the ridge where so beautiful... but for some strange reason he could only remember one spell... he could have sworn that he had three others... not to mention the one he just cast. Well oh well, without farther to do he cast his single spell... haha, oh it was amusing indeed, many more elves fell drowning in plague and pestilence, but then control was wrenched from his grasp and the warlord cried in shock as a large portion of his unit died in pain... and then Razqueeze jumped back as the Engineer feel in a gurgling heap... served him right for all his talking. Finally getting control again he forced the spell back upon that unit of elves and finished them off, and then moved it beyond his sight, where it died.

Soon after the warlord called a retreat and they fled off the field of battle... pfff, Razqueeze was sure they could take on more.

And the Dark Elf Side:

Lordling Gilgamesh began his walk through the druchii camp toward the witch king's tent. Unlike that annoying warlock on the other side of the field, his loquacious Musician Mumarsh had survived, and he was chattering endlessly in Giglamesh's ear. They were the only survivors from the plague that had spread throughout the druchii's left flank.

"As I was saying, you foolishly exposed us to that grey seer, got half our unit turned into clanrats, got the other half of our unit killed by plague, and fled like a coward. The Witch King is obviously summoning us, so that he can have the personal pleasure of killing you himself," smiled Mumarsh.

"What's all this excitement over my death. What happened to all this talk about my success being your success," replied Gilgamesh, drily.

"Yes, but your failure can also be my success."

"You think you will get promoted to lordling?"

"Precisely! And then perhaps Khaine's whores will begin noticing me and wanting to bed me!"

“Mumarsh, the death hags are not Khaine’s whores!” snapped Gilgamesh.

“Yes, Sir!”

Gilgamesh rolled his eyes at Mumarsh, as they made their way into the part of the druchii camp where the Cold One Knights were encamped. With the elimination of the entire blackguard regiment the Cold One Knights had taken up the duty of guarding the Witch King.

“I hear a new regiment of Blackguard is on the way,” said Mumarsh. “Perhaps, they will smile for a change.”

“Mumarsh, you are forbidden from trying to make Blackguard smile.”

“Yes, Sir!”

“In fact, you are forbidden from talking to Blackguard.”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Actually, it would just be best if you did not go near the Blackguard at all.”

“Yes, Sir!”

At this point, they had made it to the Witch King’s garishly large tent. Two Cold One Knights stood guard outside. As they approached the entrance, a scantily clothed female with a staff walked outside.

“Why, hello!” exclaimed Mumarsh. The female glared at them and continued walking.

“Mumarsh! You are forbidden from hitting on the shadowcaster!”

“Yes, Sir!”

Once again Gilgamesh rolled his eyes. He did not understand what insanity would make Mumarsh want to hit on the person who had enough power to make a hell pit abomination collapse, leaving it as easy prey for Snuggles the War Hydra. The Cold One Knights wordlessly opened the tent letting them go inside. The Witch King sat alone in darkness on his throne, fully encased in his steel armor. The two dark elf warriors fell prostrate at seeing him.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite lordling,” said the rasping voice of the Witch King. “Arise! We have had a great victory today!”

“Indeed, your grace,” replied Gilgamesh, rising. “Word of your exploits is spreading throughout the camp. It is my belief that they will tell stories of how you struck down the eshin master of assassins for millennia to come.” Gilgamesh knew that the best way to stay alive in druchii society was to stroke the ego of your commanding officer.

“Indeed, they will,” replied the Witch King. “I have also heard of your exploits of how you were the only one to have survived the plague of the thrice accursed clan pestiliens.”

“I only did my duty as a druchii loyal to the witch king would do,” said Gilgamesh.

“I can use such strength, so I have summoned you to tell you that a new contingent of spearmen is en route. It will be your duty to train them into a formidable fighting force worthy of my army. That is all”

“Yes, your grace,” replied Gilgamesh, while bowing and taking his leave.

Thus, did Gilgamesh spend the next ten days training the new druchii replacements what it meant to fight in the Witch King’s army. Mumarsh only helped for half a day for he was forced by Gilgamesh to spend the other nine days sitting in his tent and writing: “Playing ‘Dodge the Cold One’ is not an acceptable method of training replacements.”

Do you play Warhammer online?

Sounds good : )

I wrote the first part... second part was written by the other player... he is a brilliant writer.

And no... it was retarded, I just play the miniature game.